


Connie The Cat- Feline Good

by TheAlphaFox



Series: Two Spoons- The Cutlery Drawer [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: All Through February, Cat Puns, Cats, Connie The Cat, Did I Mention It's Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Secretly A Dog Person, Pets, Phanfiction, Platonic Relationships, Stubborn Cat, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, updating daily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-21 10:58:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9545435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAlphaFox/pseuds/TheAlphaFox
Summary: A series of internal monologues from Connie the cat, fluffy menace and third member of Dan and Phil's little family.





	1. Collar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_toadlet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_toadlet/gifts).



> This one's for my Dino Kiddo, as promised. I hope you like it <3
> 
> Hello, cubs! As promised, the first of many works to pop up in the Two Spoons series. I hope you like it too!
> 
> THIS ONE IS PLATONIC PHAN. There will be others, both platonic and relationship based, but I wanted to focus more on Connie than the boys' relationship in this one. Of course, they're still very much main characters!
> 
> This is a series of Connie's inner thoughts and feelings, one chapter for every day in February. If you ever wondered what life is like in the Howlter flat from the point of view of a tiny, black fluffy terror, this is the fic for you. 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments, and I'll see you tomorrow! xx <3

"HISS!"

No.  
They put it away when I hid.  
Under the sofa is safe.  
I will not wear it!  
Not that thing.  
Prison round my neck.  
Stiff leather.  
I am a free cat.  
I am feral.  
I am wild.

I spend more time inside than out.  
I eat their food.  
I sleep by their hot thing.  
I play with them.  
I am feral.  
I will not be a pet. 

"HISS!"

Cuddles looks upset.  
Grumpy looks worried.  
The leather thing is gone now.  
They call for me.  
They rub their hands together.  
Cuddles fetches tuna.  
I hide.  
Stubborn.  
But I feel...  
Bad.

"MRRROW?"

I want to stay.

I will be their feral cat.  
But I will not be a pet.  
No prison for me.  
Door always open.  
Freedom.  
Don't tie me down. 

Alright.  
I will come out, then.  
For my humans.  
So Cuddles can smile again.  
So Grumpy stops worrying.  
I will eat the tuna.  
I will accept the petting.  
I will let them make amends.  
But I am still feral.  
Absolutely.  
Of course. 

"...PURRRRRR."


	2. Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie reflects on the food he's tried since he stopped having to catch it himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, cubs!
> 
> Just a quick note this time, I'm falling asleep- but I hope you're all having a great week.
> 
> I'll update again tomorrow. Love you all xx

They made me try packets.  
Strange, crinkly things.  
They made jelly when you tore them.  
Sticky.  
Lumpy.  
Tasted like rubbish.  
Remembered that taste.  
Times used to be hard.

Not any more. 

I like chicken best.  
Warm, not cold.  
They put what's left in the magic box for me.  
It comes out hot and tasty.  
Nom.

Tuna is good.  
Don't know how the magic tin thing makes it yet.  
One day I will work it out.  
Cuddles gives me tuna a lot.  
Grumpy sighs about it.  
Clean my whiskers and look smug.  
Talent of mine. 

Bacon is good, too.  
Crispy, not soft.  
Crispy so I can sit on Grumpy's lap and crunch it when he works.  
He complains, but never have to move.  
Grumpy likes to complain. 

Pasta is NOT good.  
Too squidgy.  
No taste.  
Grumpy was angry.  
Not my fault.  
Cuddles left the bowl on the side!  
Just ate a bit.  
Not much pasta.  
...Well.  
A bowlful.  
Wasn't good.

No.  
Need to find my humans. 

...Want some more chicken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smile <3 xx


	3. Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie doesn't know their names... but he has his own for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm half asleep, so no note tonight I'm afraid, other than I love you all and you're amazing. 
> 
> Enjoy! Xx

Grumpy likes to complain.

Get off the bed.  
Stop scratching the sofa.  
Don't eat that.  
Don't sleep there.

Ha!  
I am feral.  
I sleep where I want.

Grumpy pretends to be annoyed.  
He rolls his eyes.  
Sigh.   
He loves me really.

He tries to push me off the bed,  
Then lets me sleep next to him.  
He ruined the sofa first, it dips-  
Curl up there when I'm not scratching it.  
Says I eat all the nice food,  
Then sneaks leftovers down from his plate.   
Complains I sleep too much  
He wakes me up with a flash and talks about how followers love me.

I don't care.   
Just want sleep.

Grumpy is stubborn.  
He has his routine.   
I have mine.   
But always laughs at me.  
When I try to be cute  
He stops to smile.

Making Grumpy smile feels... nice.  
My Grumpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you tomorrow, cubs <3 xx


	4. Phil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie thinks about the other half of his definitely-not-owner partnership.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was quite drunk when I wrote this, so if it's terrible, I apologise in advance.
> 
> Love you all! Enjoy <3 xx

Cuddles is consistent.  
Grumpy changes a lot.  
Sometimes won't tickle me.  
Sometimes wants to be alone.  
Fine.  
I am feral.  
I understand.  
Alone is good sometimes. 

Cuddles?  
Cuddles always wants me near him.  
Cuddles hates alone.  
Likes me curling around his ankles.  
Sitting on his lap when he works.  
Sleeping in corners.  
Laying under black thing's legs as he talks to it. 

Cuddles is consistent.  
When Grumpy is gone, Cuddles carries me.  
I don't mind.  
Sometimes I pretend to.  
But I like curling against Cuddles's chest.  
Smells nice.  
Warm.  
Safe.  
Cuddles is safe.

Grumpy is safe too, but Cuddles's arms are home.  
Grumpy's smile is home, too.  
My humans... home?  
No.  
No!  
I am feral.  
I have no home.  
I sleep here because it is warm and dry.  
Not because I like it.  
Not because I am a pet.  
Not at all.  
Never.  
I am wild.

... where is Cuddles?  
I am cold.  
He is warm.  
Cuddles?

"MRRROW."

"MRRROW?"

"MRRROW!"

"I'm in the kitchen, Connie!"

There he is.  
There's my Cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday, cubs xx :)


	5. Brush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could it be? Is Connie beginning to accept that "feral" isn't something that he has to hold on to?
> 
> ... maybe not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise if this is terrible, cubs. I'm ridiculously sleep deprived, but I didn't want to leave you waiting. 
> 
> Love you all <3

Don't know about this.  
Feels nice.  
Like sitting in Cuddles's lap.  
Soft hands on my ears.  
Brush against my back.  
Arch.  
Stretch.   
Relax.  
Aaaah.  
Bristles on my sides.  
Lazy cat.  
Happy cat.

But...  
This is dependence.   
I can do this myself.  
Tongue works.  
Feral.   
I am feral.  
Rely on this?   
Never free again.

No.   
No, I like this.  
Not relying.  
Accepting.   
Cuddles can reach better than me.  
Feels nice.  
Sleepy now.  
Go to sleep.   
Safe with Cuddles.

Safe with my humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that, cubs. Stay safe, and I'll see you tomorrow <3


	6. Fireplace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie makes a friend. It doesn't do much, but he likes it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I'll get more than 3 hours of sleep tonight! Night, cubs. Sleep well <3 xx

The red thing is speaking again.  
It crackles and whispers at me.  
I lay in front of it and listen.  
Warm.   
Feels good.  
It sings, but don't understand it.

Cuddles tells me to be careful.   
I am fearless!   
Not careful.  
But gets too hot when I get close.  
Singes whiskers.  
No, thank you.

It doesn't bite.  
Doesn't eat.  
Doesn't sleep.  
It just sits there.  
Warm.  
Red.  
Glowing. 

Sometimes Grumpy sits in front of it with me.  
Fiddles with the side of it.  
Gets warmer.  
Sometimes gets colder.  
Grumpy is magic.

Befriended the red thing.  
It lets me lay there.  
Dozing.   
Comfortable.   
Red thing is a good thing. 

Too cold now.  
Want Grumpy to fiddle with it again.   
Grumpy?   
Grumpy! 

"MRRROW."  
"What do you want now, Connie?"

Fix red thing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that! Let me know what you thought below, and I'll see you again tomorrow xx


	7. Houseplants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie likes them. Phil loves them. 
> 
> Teamwork!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I almost broke my nose a few days ago (my God it hurts), and I've had 8 hours sleep in the past two days...
> 
> Oddly enough, I'm still cheerful. I hope you're doing well, cubs <3
> 
> Enjoy! Xx

The green things are everywhere. 

On the cupboards.  
By the windows.  
Anywhere Cuddles can fit them.

I like them.  
Bat at them, but they don't mind.   
Fun to play with.   
Sometimes I claw pieces off.  
Not very often  
Cuddles looks sad.  
Don't want Cuddles to be sad.

Green things don't taste good.  
Don't make noise.  
Don't move.  
But Cuddles loves them.   
Grumpy mutters a lot.  
Says there are too many green things.  
I agree.   
But still fun.

Grumpy says we can't have any more green things.   
When Cuddles sneaks a new one in, I distract Grumpy.  
Sit on his lap, let Cuddles put the green thing away.  
4 this week.  
Grumpy has no idea.

Good team.  
Maybe solo hunting isn't everything, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish you all the happiness and houseplants in the world, cubs. See you tomorrow! <3


	8. Piano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie learns how to make music- and discovers his favourite kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8 down, 20 to go! I hope you're enjoying this one, cubs <3
> 
> I'm off to London tomorrow, and I don't know how good my Internet access is going to be, so if I don't manage to upload tomorrow I'll put up two chapters on Friday when I get back. 
> 
> Love you all! Enjoy xx

Grumpy looks sad.  
He's tapping at the noise thing.  
It sounds pretty.  
Living room full of noise.  
Humans call it "music".  
I like it.   
Makes my tail twitch.   
Want to walk, sway to it.

But not today.   
Today Grumpy is sad.  
He has bad days.  
I don't like Grumpy's bad days.  
He looks sad.  
Doesn't do anything.  
Lays on the floor sometimes. 

Today he sits at the noise thing.   
I want him to smile.   
So I do what I do best.

Jump up onto the noise thing.   
Walk along the white bits.   
I can sway.  
I can make noise too.  
Grumpy looks surprised.  
But he lets me walk.  
Up and down.   
Pretty noise.  
I make music. 

Grumpy smiles.  
Calls me a virtuouso.   
Don't know what that it.  
But Grumpy likes it.  
Grumpy likes me.  
I like Grumpy.

I jump down onto Grumpy's lap.  
Curl up.   
He makes more noise.   
"PURRRRRR."  
Grumpy is good at music.  
But the best noise is his laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you soon, cubs. In the meantime, enjoy the music that life has to offer you <3 xx


	9. Bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bath time?
> 
> Haha. Nope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey cubs! I got back from London about 2 hours ago- I'm sorry there wasn't a chapter yesterday, there'll be 2 tonight to catch up :)
> 
> I hope you're all doing well! Xx

No.  
NO.  
NO!  
CUDDLES!  
CUDDLES GET OFF!  
NOT THE BIG WHITE BOWL!  
FILLING IT WITH WATER?  
CUDDLES, WHY?  
THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME  
PERFECT TEMPERATURE DOESN'T MATTER  
STILL WET  
"MRRROW!"  
NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!  
CUDDLES!  
HELP!  
GRUMPY!   
COME AND SAVE ME FROM CUDDLES!  
GRUMPY?   
GRUMPY!  
NO DON'T HELP HIM!  
GRUMPY!   
GRUMPY YOU TRAITOR!  
GET O-

.... I am in the white thing that you lie in.  
I.  
AM.  
IN.  
THE.  
BIG.  
WHITE.   
BOWL.

ANARCHY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that, cubs! See you very soon <3


	10. Kitchen Counters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitchen counters are forbidden territory. 
> 
> Challenge accepted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, cubs! Now we're back on schedule :)
> 
> Sleep well, and I'll see you all tomorrow! 
> 
> Enjoy <3 xx

I jump up when they're not looking.  
Remember the first time I came in here.  
Stood on the counter. 

Now I am here a lot.  
Counters not allowed.  
They lift me down again.   
I pad away.  
They catch me.  
No.  
Down.  
Not up there.  
Spoilsports.

Grumpy complains about not clean.   
Cuddles thinks I might fall.

Rude!

I am very clean.  
They put me in the big white bowl.  
Still not forgiven them.  
I am graceful.  
I am strong.   
I will not fall. 

I like counters.   
Feel tall.  
Explore.  
Find food sometimes.   
Cuddles comes back to find dinner nibbled?

"MRRROW."

I blame Grumpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the interests of letting you know a bit more about me as a person and what I value in life, today I spent the equivalent of $25 on teabags.
> 
> No regrets. I now have a load of new types to try! Consider it writing fuel <3 xx


	11. Camera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That thing cannot be trusted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, has today been shit. But it's ending on a high, cubs. I have a few good friends left, ones that I actually want to keep- and I have you. I love you all. Thank you for giving me a purpose, and endless encouragement. You've kept me going through many a dark day <3

They are talking to it again.  
I don't like it.  
Don't trust it.  
It sits there.  
Three legs.  
Did it have an accident?  
Once knew a cat with three legs.  
Told me a lot of stories.  
Life was rough back then.  
Not any more.  
I have my humans.  
...Still talking to the black thing.

Have they replaced me?

"MRRROW!" 

... Grumpy shushed me.  
He SHUSHED me.  
Excuse me, Grumpy.  
No.

"MRRROW."

Cuddles?  
Cuddles, don't love the black thing.  
Love me instead.  
Cu-

Aha.  
Cuddles asks Grumpy to pause the Cam Era.  
So that is name.  
Cam Era. 

Look out, Cam Era.  
I will push you over one day. 

...No.  
Not jealous at all.  
"MRRROW."

Talk to me, Grumpy!  
Cuddles?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow will be better. And even if it's not better, it'll be new.
> 
> I'll see you then, cubs. I wish you the best of luck with your tomorrow xx <3


	12. Bribery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bribery? Connie is way above that.
> 
> ... maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help! I've fallen in love with a fictional cat and now I want to adopt him. I keep telling myself I'm not a cat person, but he's worming his way into my heart. 
> 
> Oh dear. Enjoy this, cubs! Xx

Grumpy is fickle.  
Says he has principles.  
When Cuddles leaves, so do Grumpy's principles. 

Wants me to do something?   
Food.   
Every time.  
Tries to bribe me.  
Wants to show Cuddles he can deal with me.  
Ha!  
I am not difficult.   
But I am feral.  
Do what I want.

If Grumpy wanted cooperate, should have got a dog.  
I am cat.  
Don't do bribery.   
Can't be bought.   
Strong-minded.  
Stubborn.  
Willful.  
Wild. 

Grumpy bribes.   
No.  
Won't accept it.  
I have principles. 

... can smell tuna.

No.

No...

...Grumpy?  
You want me? 

"MRRROW."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just given myself a shadow puppet show on my bedroom wall with a portable charger flashlight, listening to Castle On The Hill. These are the kinds of nights people like me write poetry about. I'm glad to be alive :)
> 
> Love you all <3 See you tomorrow! Xx


	13. Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neighbours, Kanye, singing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey cubs! Just a brief one tonight.
> 
> If nobody's told you that you looked good today- you really did <3
> 
> Enjoy! Xx

Grumpy makes noise a lot.  
He puts his phone on a box and it sings.  
Calls it Music.  
Magic.  
Some of it is good.  
Some terrible.

He likes "Kanye".  
Don't know what Kanye is.  
Makes Grumpy smile though. 

Cuddles likes random noises.  
Grumpy teases him.  
Like it when Grumpy teases Cuddles.   
Cuddles laughs.  
Hides mouth with his hand.  
Makes me happy, somehow.

Grumpy puts the noise on a lot.  
Sometimes very loudly.  
Cuddles thinks the neighbours hate us.  
Don't know who neighbours are.  
But if they hate Cuddles or Grumpy?   
I'll find them.  
"HISSSSSS."

Nobody hates my humans.  
They are good humans.

I love them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all. See you tomorrow! Xx


	14. Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Any time, any place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, cubs! I hope you're well <3 
> 
> I have brutal insomnia (average 4-6 hours sleep a night, yay), so this chapter is what I wish my sleep schedule was like XD
> 
> Love you all, I'll speak to you tomorrow xx

Sleep is good.  
I sleep everywhere.   
In front of the red glowing thing.   
The landing.   
Dip in the sofa.  
Grumpy's bed.   
Grumpy doesn't know.  
Shhhhhhh.

Grumpy sleeps in the morning.  
Up at night.  
Gets out of bed at lunchtime.  
Nocturnal?  
Probably.

Cuddles?  
Sleeps like most humans.  
Bed late.  
Rise midmorning.  
Cuddles is sensible.  
Grumpy is silly.  
Balances.

Everything balances.   
Except sleep.  
Always need more sleep.  
Grumpy calls me lazy.  
I call Grumpy annoying.   
Never seems to understand me.

Grumpy is...  
Grumpy.   
But I love him. 

No time to be feral today.  
Too tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that, cubs! Sleep well <3


	15. Existential Crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it me, or is Connie gradually becoming less "feral" and insistent on his wild freedoms?
> 
> Perhaps he's fallen for his humans as much as they've fallen for him... ;) xx

Where is Grumpy?   
Grumpy?   
"MRRROW."  
Climb the strange indoors hill.  
Is he up here?

Oh.

... Grumpy? 

Why is he face down on the carpet?   
He okay?  
Breathing.   
Fidgeting.   
He's alive.

... is he sad?  
Grumpy, are you sad?  
"MRRROW?"  
Hand reaches for me.  
Fingers tangle with my tail. 

Don't know what "existential" means.  
Is that what makes Grumpy sad?  
Oh.  
No.

It's okay, Grumpy.  
I'm here.  
Cries into my fur.  
Let it all out.  
I am good cat.  
Won't tell anyone.   
Don't need to buy my silence with chicken.  
Trust me.  
Trust your good cat.

Grumpy's smile is watery.  
But still smile.  
Makes me happy. 

Wish I could smile back. 

Ah!  
"PURRRRRR."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that, cubs! See you tomorrow <3 xx


	16. Phil's Socks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grumpy's complaints are starting to rub off...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, cubs! I hope you're all well <3
> 
> Short note today. This was written and posted whilst I am really quite intoxicated, so I apologise profusely if it's terrible. Love you all- enjoy! xx

Cuddles likes to put bright things on his feet.  
Makes no sense.   
Never matching.  
Cuddles seems happy, though.

Issue isn't matching.  
Is what happens when Cuddles takes them off.  
Leaves them on the table in living room.  
Grumpy is... sensitive about that table.

When Grumpy finds Cuddles' bright things, he moans at him.  
So grumpy.  
I find it funny.

Like to steal Cuddles' bright things.  
I hide them.  
Under the sofa.  
He'll find them one day.

Now, more fun to watch him blame Grumpy.

Mwa ha ha.

Grumpy!  
He's left some more!  
"MRRROW!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you tomorrow, cubs! Stay safe xx


	17. Arguing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil do argue. They're only human, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly late and quite short tonight, cubs. I'm sorry, it's been a really rough night, but I didn't want you to be completely without an update. 
> 
> I'll see you soon, and I promise the next one will be better xx

Grumpy and Cuddles argue sometimes.  
Funny.  
Always stupid reason.  
Chores not done.  
Socks on table.   
Mess, usually. 

Funny because never lasts.  
I pick sides.  
Favouritist?   
Me?  
I will sit on lap of whoever is in the right.  
Glare at one who was wrong.   
Until they apologise.

Shouting occasionally.   
Often grumbles.   
Grumpy is good at it.  
Cuddles tends to laugh when he tries to get angry.  
Both make mistakes.

Grumpy and Cuddles always apologise.  
Rely on each other.  
Laugh together.  
Love.

My humans are funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all. Stay safe <3 xx


	18. Gaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Computers make no sense to a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you tomorrow, guys. I don't have it in me to write much more tonight <3

Not a window.   
Frame...  
Grumpy and Cuddles sit in front of it.   
Pressing buttons.  
Sometime shouting.

Working together.  
Sometimes competitive.  
Strange.  
They have a piece of tree.  
Stick pictures on it.   
After they sit in front of the frame.  
Makes no sense.  
My humans are mad.  
Only explanation.

I don't understand it.  
Sometimes very happy.   
Jumping out of seats.   
Hugging.  
Shouting.   
Grumpy woke me up yesterday.  
I was not impressed.   
"HISSSSSS!"  
Did apologise later with tuna.  
Not the point.

Sit for hours.  
Staring at the frame thing.   
Grumpy?   
Cuddles?   
"MRRROW!"

They shush me.  
Filming a what?  
Gaming?  
Video?   
Film?

Humans are weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all xx


	19. Petting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being petted doesn't necessarily mean you're a pet... right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey cubs! Have you had a good day? <3 
> 
> This is fluffy af, I warn you now XD 
> 
> Enjoy! Xx

My humans fuss a lot.  
Feels nice.  
Hand on my spine.  
Stroking down to my tail.  
Tidying my fur.  
Smooth.   
Sleek.  
Looks good. 

Cuddles runs his finger down my forehead.  
Makes me close my eyes.   
Sometimes fall asleep.   
Feels comforting.  
Falling asleep on Cuddles is good.  
Sits still for hours.   
Tries not to wake me up.   
Cuddles is kind.

Grumpy hugs me.  
Sit on his chest when he's in bed.  
Wraps arms around me.  
Gently.  
I let him.  
Calms him down.  
My head fits under his chin.  
Like it was made for me.  
Both sleep like that.  
'Not allowed' in bedroom.  
Spend most nights there anyway. 

Like being petted.  
Not a pet!  
But... petting is nice.  
Feels great.

Feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If nobody's told you this yet today- I love you. A hell of a lot. And you matter to me <3 xx


	20. Sirens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So noisy... and symbolic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm falling asleep as I type, cubs! So tired. I think I've burnt myself out, I barely sleep as it is but recently I haven't been trying very hard to rest and it's catching up with me.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! Xx

Never bothered me before.   
Now I have a house.  
And humans.   
Bothers me now.

Every day is the same.   
Quiet.  
Relaxed.  
Then screams past the window.  
NEE NAW NEE NAW NEE NAW!

"HISSSSSS!"  
Grumpy finds funny.   
I jump up.  
Hair on end.  
Every time!

Cuddles is nicer about it.  
Tells me not to worry.  
Just an ambulance.  
Or police.  
Don't know what those are.   
But... loud.

When I still lived in alleyway, they went past.   
I hid in the bins.  
Felt safer.  
Back then... had nothing to lose.

Now, I go back to sleep on Grumpy's lap.  
And Cuddles just smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleep well, and have beautiful dreams. Love you all <3 xx


	21. Landlord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An impromptu house inspection? 
> 
> ... Oh, no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey cubs! 
> 
> This one is a little longer, and I'm happier with it. Much love to my Dino Kid for this idea, and to Dino Angel for making me giggle. I'm proud to know you <3 
> 
> Have you all had a good week so far? Xx

Cannot BELIEVE this.  
This morning, Cuddles came into living room.  
Looked panicked.   
Told Grumpy a "landlord" was coming.   
Don't know what that is.  
Both looked at me.  
Grumpy picked me up.   
Gave me to Cuddles.

Er...?

Cuddles shut me outside the kitchen window. 

Said I'd be okay.  
Used to be feral, after all.  
Used to be?  
Excuse me, Cuddles.  
Cuddles?  
CUDDLES!  
LET ME IN!  
"MRRROW!"

Won't let me in.  
Fine.  
Will sit outside the window.  
Make my eyes go big.  
Cuddles is a sucker for it.  
Will make noise until I can come back in.  
CUDDLES?  
GRUMPY! 

Grumpy lets me in, long time later.   
Rubs my ears.  
Says he's sorry.   
Okay, Grumpy.  
Apparently landlord can take home away.  
No chance! 

Grumpy is forgiven.   
Gives me some food.  
Fusses me.  
"PURRRRRR."  
Love you, Grumpy. 

Cuddles?   
Ha.  
He can wait for fussing.   
Love him too.  
But...  
Shut me outside window?

Hmph!   
Naughty Cuddles.   
My humans need more training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought for the day: Love makes anything precious. Receipts from days spent together, photographs, even seconds. Treasure what you have, because even when it's not worth anything, it's priceless <3 xx


	22. Socialising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They never go anywhere!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey cubs!
> 
> It's been a good week. Busy as all hell, but productive. I'm feeling positive :)
> 
> Let me know how you're doing! I hope you're all feeling positive too <3
> 
> Enjoy (the most accurate representation of my own social life I've ever written)! Xx

Never seem to go anywhere.  
Both stay in the house.  
Uneventful.   
Not complaining.  
More fussing for me.

But... quiet.  
Always talking to the black box with three legs.  
Or watching people trapped in "tv".  
Or sitting on sofa.   
Strange. 

People go out.  
See them on the street.   
Used to live around them.  
Walking.  
Meeting.   
Laughing.  
Places to be.

Grumpy and Cuddles have nowhere to be.   
Could if they wanted to.  
Door opens.   
Downstairs.   
City waiting. 

They just don't. 

Walking to kitchen.  
Food.  
Meeting on sofa.  
What to watch next?  
Laughing together.  
Every day.  
Sometimes wonder what so funny.

Maybe home is their place to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *big hugs* You're all amazing xx
> 
> Oh! And for those of you who aren't fans of physical contact, *grateful smiles* xx


	23. Playing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat toys are interesting, sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is slightly late, cubs, I've procrastinated everything today! I hope you're all well. 
> 
> Enjoy! Xx

Gave me a mouse.  
Felt.  
Squeaks when I stand on it.  
Not real, though.  
Can't chase it.

Gave me ribbon to chase.  
Wiggled it for me.  
Ran for a while.  
Hmm.  
Limp on the carpet.  
No fun without humans.

Gave me a ball.  
Bounces.  
Can't throw it myself.  
Need Grumpy or Cuddles.  
Boring when they're busy.

Gave me some yarn.  
Get tangled in it.  
Annoying.  
Fun to unravel, though.  
Caught up?  
Not so much. 

Best things to play with? 

Grumpy and Cuddles. 

Chasing into the kitchen.  
Stealing socks from tables.  
Rolling around.  
Batting their hands.

My humans are the best humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who made you smile today? And if the answer is nobody, how can I help you smile? Xx


	24. Scented Candles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scented candles seem to be everywhere...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this is late, cubs! For the first time I can remember since being a teenager, I actually fell asleep asleep a reasonable time... which meant I didn't update this. Many apologies <3
> 
> I'll update tonight as normal, but here's yesterday's belated offering. Enjoy! Xx

Whole house smells.

Sometimes like leaves.  
Nice.   
Reminds me of park I used to hide in.

Sometimes sweet.  
Like smells through bakery door.  
Even when not cooking.  
Hmm.

Sometimes strange.  
Nice, but... can't name it.

Grumpy calls them "scented candles".  
Cuddles loves plants?  
Well, Grumpy loves candles.   
Obsessed.  
Buys new ones all the time. 

I've been thinking.  
Maybe not so feral now.  
Maybe like living here.   
Maybe going to stay.

But candles remind me of old times.  
Self-sufficient times.  
Brave times.  
When only worried about myself.

Feels good to remember.  
But don't need that anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all! Xx <3
> 
> (Sorry again!!)


	25. Fidgeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He won't sit still... so his feet are fair game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, cubs! 
> 
> Are you enjoying this one so far? I'm curious as to what you think, let me know in the comments! 
> 
> I hope you're all having a good weekend so far! 
> 
> Enjoy xx <3

Grumpy sitting in sofa crease.  
Hmm.  
Legs outstretched.   
I sleep under his legs sometimes.   
Makes a good blanket tent.  
Cosy.

Keeps moving his feet today.  
Bouncing.  
Earphones in- music playing?   
Watch him for a while.  
Mesmerising.   
Bounce.  
Bounce.

... want to catch them.  
Crouch.  
Stare.  
POUNCE.

Batting at Grumpy's feet.  
No claws.  
Don't want to ruin his socks.  
Just funny.  
He laughs at me.  
Like Grumpy's laugh.  
Says something to me.  
Fur bristles with pride.  
Happy cat.  
Never said that to me before. 

"MRRROW."  
Love you too, Grumpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love, happiness, safety and a grumpy Connie to you all xx <3


	26. Attention-Seeking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it's necessary to be a little bit loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 7 hours of potential sleep available, and I need to work on an update for Two Spoons... guess who's going to be a zombie tomorrow! 
> 
> How is everyone doing? Xx

Sometimes, they're "busy".  
Excuse me?  
No.  
Pay attention to me.  
Doesn't matter how important that is, Grumpy.  
Put it down.  
No, down.

"MRRROW!"

Grumpy!  
Cuddles, he won't fuss me.  
Cuddles?  
... et tu, Cuddles.

Hmm.   
Fine.  
Don't care anyway.  
Nope.  
Not at all.

"MRRROW! MRRROW! MRRRRRRROW!"

Ha.  
I win.  
Now give me fuss!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, cubs xx <3


	27. Stairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's an indoors hill, obviously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, cubs!
> 
> So... tomorrow is the day! An end to this particular work. But I promise you, you'll be seeing a lot more of this furry menace in the future. 
> 
> I hope you've all enjoyed yourselves with this one- I know I have! 
> 
> See you tomorrow, and enjoy <3 xx

Hmm.  
Still don't know why they have a hill inside.   
Bumpy.   
Soft.  
Not grass.  
Sort of... fluffy.

Fun to climb, though.  
Chasing Cuddles or Grumpy upstairs.   
Distracting.  
Like to see their faces when I'm annoying them.  
Still find me cute.  
Mwa ha ha.

Sometimes, jump up the indoors hill.  
One ridge at a time.   
Stalking nothing in particular.   
Reminds me of being wild.  
Fending for myself. 

Admit it.   
Don't need to fend for myself anymore.   
Got my humans.  
Got their home.  
Got their fussing.   
Got their food.  
Got their indoors hill. 

Grumpy calls them "stairs".  
Don't believe that for a second.

It's an indoors hill, Grumpy!  
Silly humans.

"MRRROW."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope, when you climb your own indoors hill tonight (or not, perhaps just walking along a corridor!), you sleep well. 
> 
> Love you all <3 xx


	28. Pet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a decision has to be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is it! 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with this, cubs- your support means a hell of a lot. There'll be a lot more coming to this series in the future, but for now... enjoy! Xx

Been thinking.  
About what I used to be.  
What I am now.

Used to be feral.   
Had to be.  
Looked out for myself.  
Now?  
Grumpy offers to carry me up the indoors hill.  
Cuddles gives me snacks.

So...  
Time to do the right thing.  
Pad through each room.  
Up the indoors hill.  
Where did he put it?

Ah! 

Drag it down the indoors hill.   
In the living room.  
Cuddles?  
Grumpy? 

There they are.

Walk over to Grumpy.   
Looks up at me.  
Surprised.   
Yes, I know.  
Me too, Grumpy.   
Calls Cuddles over. 

Jump up onto the sofa.  
Between my humans.  
Warm.   
Safe.  
Drop the collar onto Grumpy's lap.

It's okay, Grumpy.   
Smile, Cuddles.

I am a pet.  
And proud of it.  
Lost some independence, found a family. 

I love my humans.

"PURRRRRR."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big love to you all <3 xx

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that, cubs! I'll update very soon, I promise. Have a great day, from both Connie and I xx
> 
> P.S: "MRRROW."


End file.
